Let’s start at the beginning, where it all began. Where you began.
While most people know their actual birthdate, few know the details of that eventful day. You probably don’t remember it, but I bet your parents do! Let’s see what we can find about that day and those following.
Do you have your birth certificate?
If not, ask your parents if they have it and make a copy. Or you can write to your local state or provincial governments and request one. Most will show your full name, the names of your parents, date and possibly time of birth, as well as where you were born.
Find out where you were born.
Was it a hospital? At home? By the side of the road? Wherever the event took place, mark it down. Find it on a map, see if you can Google a picture of the building or location. A friend of mine discovered they were born in a different town than what they’d been told (needless to say, questions were asked)!
How was the delivery?
Has your mother ever spoken about what the delivery entailed? Was it a straightforward birth, induced, breech, C-section, or even a cutting and forceps delivery? I remember all three of my sons’ deliveries. They were all different, and while the pain fades, the memories do not.
Who delivered you?
If born at home, who helped your mother deliver you, a midwife, family member, travelling nurse or doctor? Did any complications arise and if so, how were they dealt with? If you were born in a hospital, how long did you and your mother stay there before going home? Did her own doctor deliver you, or was it an on-call doctor whom your mother had never met (which can be annoying and frightening)?
My mother remembers waving to my dad, who was relegated to the waiting room, before being wheeled into an operating room, everyone masked and gowned. For her, it was likely a doctor who delivered her children. For myself, from 1995 to 2000, I had both doctors and nurses assuming important roles. One student doctor delivered one child with one nurse, with my regular doctor there just in case; one delivery had a nurse kneeling above me on the table pushing the baby down and out (they used forceps); and the other a C-section, during which I felt nothing, even though the room overflowed with doctors and nurses (I was 40 at the time and considered a high-risk). I was thankful that my husband was in my hospital room for all three births. My mother must have felt scared and alone while my dad waited with the other fathers.
Was your father part of the delivery?
When my mother had my brothers and I, my father had to pace in the waiting room until told that mother and child were both doing fine. Congratulations, sir, you have a baby whatever (and then he passed out blue or pink cigars). Nowadays, most men want to be right there, catching their baby as they slip (or shoot) out, and often get to cut the cord.
Did your mother have anaesthetics or epidurals?
Chances are, if you were born before the 1970s, your mother didn’t have an easy time with birth. They gave a lot of women drugs to “numb the pain” but it also led to many not remembering the birth at all. Epidurals became popular in the 1970s, though they slowed the progress of the delivery. Some women used water baths, the Lamaze method, breathing techniques, and even hypnosis. And some just rode the pain (and my hat is off to you ladies! I admit to ordering up a round of epidural for each birth.).
Find photos.
Locate a photo of the hospital or place you were born, as well as the earliest picture you have of yourself. Sometimes these are professional shots, other times a quick capture by dad as you come home from the hospital with a tired but proud mom.
Talk to your dad.
Don’t forget to quiz your dad about your birth. Ask him if he attended, how he felt, was he worried about the actual delivery, or how to finance a growing family, or even if he’d be a good dad? How did he react when he first learned your mom was pregnant? Does he regret anything? He may not open up about everything, but it never hurts to try. I wish I had asked my father about his experiences when I had the chance.
Note: If your parents are not alive, ask an aunt or grandparent about your birth. Most women didn’t talk about the actual birth, except amongst themselves, so you probably never heard about them as a child. If you’re lucky, your mom may share her experiences and you can marvel at how times have changed–for the better. And give her an enormous hug!
Your Turn:
- Get a copy of your birth certificate.
- Find a photo of where you were born and the first picture anyone took of you.
- Search for your birth date on Google and see if anything interesting happened on the day you were born. Amongst other events, the Montreal Canadiens beat Toronto Maple Leafs (4 – 3) to win the Stanley Cup the year I was born! Go Habs Go!